OMG did I eat a leaf? what? I reach for it and as my eyes come into focus I realize it was some of a potato skin and holy hell, my hands are green!. Just then, the phone started ringing. I go to look in my pants pocket for the phone and realize yet again I woke up pant less. I found my phone under the edge of the bed by the trashcan and grab it and make it shut up. its my so-called sister (because right now I know a real sister wouldn't make a phone ring on someone that feels like I do) asking how I feel.
"how the fuck do you think I feel?" . . . "oh laugh it up" . . "why am I green and where the hell are my pants this time?" . . . "WHAT do you mean I made you hold them while I went after my leprechaun?"
When I was 8 years old my aunt came to visit and told me she had a leprechaun of her very own in her purse. Of course I fell for it (I also fell for the Chinese finger trap that night) and wouldn't stop harassing her and wanted her to show me the leprechaun. She never did because it was hers and not for anyone else to see and she didn't want it to get away and lose her all her luck. You cant just go around flashing your leprechaun to people. So when she got back west she sent me something.. I don't remember to save my life now what, (a figurine or pin of some sort).. but it was to represent my very own leprechaun that I could keep with me always.
So my sister fills me in that we were walking along the Chicago River and I swore I saw my leprechaun in it. I was so excited and adamant about seeing him again. I told her the river was full of green beer and yanno I couldn't let my leprechaun drink alone. I took my pants off and threw them at her and jumped right in, took a drink realized it wasn't beer and immediately got right back out. I refused to cover my green legs and was promptly escorted back here to pass out.
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